Monday, July 25, 2011


Listening to J. Moss "Rebuild Me"

It's funny almost creepy how the past will come back to haunt you, taunt you in the weirdest way at the most inopportune time. That's usually when it's time to sit still and listen to the Spirit of the Lord speak...

I've been contemplating blogging again...I've never been great at keeping a written journal (maybe it's that I don't like writing by hand) but no less than 3 people in the past week have begged me to "journal" regarding some stuff...I was fighting it. I'd determined that I'm healed of all things past and to confess otherwise is to deny my faith that God has done His work...I'm at times foolish and hard headed.

So there I was in the mirror, admiring my physique ('cause I've been working out, eating right and I look hot!) eyes glazed over my curves, admiring the tone in my arms, the 3 piece forming into my abs, then they landed on the first scar and then the second and the third, and the tears fromed and my mind flooded with memories. All I could do was cry out...and ask God why? Why would He allow this, and why does it still hurt?

"Jesus also bears scars He said, to remind me of the sacrifice, the pain, the cost, but most importantly, the victory. Your pain was not in vain. Healing is a process, walk in it without shame...for my glory".

I'm going to deal with this...