Wednesday, April 30, 2008


Okay so I have this girlfriend (names will be omitted to protect the innocent) who is a NOTORIOUS snooper!!! I mean this girl is all in her man's email, voice mail, phone bill, you name, she's got the code. As a matter of fact, she has been an expert "code cracker" (Steve Harvey aint got nothing on this chic) since high school.

In any event....the thing with her is that, when she finds the information that she's looking for, she has the audacity to approach her man about it and demand an explanation for her "discovery"!! Now I don't think I would ever be that bold! Wow, she's a straight thug with hers...

I mean THIS chick, man she goes so hard...she will literally blow up the spot knowing she was dead wrong in the first place...I was like "sweetie" you have lost your mind".

I would love to know how the ladies feel about this....the fellas too.

Of course she and the dude broke up, hence the "urgent, call me back" text that I received in the middle of history class today...Was dude justified to break up with her because she's snoopy, even though he was cheating?

A love letter to me....

My Dearest PreciousGem,

You have given me something that I always wanted but never received from a relationship, reciprocity.

When I fell in love with you, you caught me and gave me your love in return. It may have taken some time but you gave me this gift and for that I am blessed, honored, and humbled. I will never take what we have for granted or break your heart.

You inspire me to do better and you challenge me in so many ways. I admire you and respect your honesty, even when it hurts.

You are my heart’s greatest desire. I’m so in love.

Reflections Part 2-The Beauty of Friendship I am so loved....

The following is a reaction written from one of my best friends upon viewing the photos of my reunion with my family in Ghana.....I cry each time I read this...


Let me describe the overwhelming feeling I'm having for you and your family. First you know our love runs deep and where it all began. I can honestly say that you are by far one of the best friends I would ever ask for. I'm literally in tears ( Please take my words for it) on how well you have transitioned into this powerful, beautiful woman with such character. Despite your mistakes, trials, or times when you feel your not at your always are. It all makes sense that you come from greatness. Your pictures are incredible! Now I really want to go, and this is a promise that I make with my life. God willing, I want to go to Kumasi, Accra, and meet the fam.

I could feel the energy from your pics P, and it made me think about my family and how we get away from that very root of what a family truly entails. I mean to be in the presence of people who love you unconditionally and honor you even though you are miles and miles away... This makes me think of my dad ( Literally still crying, yet trying to be discreet in the office) and knowing what true really feels like makes me miss him tremendously. And if I could ever go somewhere where that feeling lies, it would mean the world to me.

I understand what you meant by when you said " I feel like I'm in the presence of God", I felt it too!!!! I guess it makes sense that you went alone, because all of your cousins and aunties would've said who's the lady over there who's a wreck and cant keep her composure..Yep, that would've been me. Tears of joy and yearning for the same type of love.

P, I hope if there was anything you ever felt you needed you found on your trip back home. When you place things in the proper perspectives you find what's really important. For this I am so so so SO SO SOS SO Proud of you and super glad your my friend, or better yet MY SISTA heck we got'

P.S. The outfits were on point as were the braids!

In Solidarity,


More words from others regarding my trip to Ghana...

"Wow P, please know that there is no one happier for you than me. I am soo glad you finally got to visit with your family. I know that you were looking forward to that. Knowing what you've been through in life, it is truly wonderful to have been able to watch you come into your own over the years. It seems that everything has now come full circle for you and all I can do is smile. You looked absolutely goregeous in your Ghanan outfits. You seemed so at home in the photos. I can't wait for you to tell me all about the trip! Expect a call from me soon."


"Wow!!!! Your family is beautiful. Your family’s home is beautiful. The beach looks beautiful. The weather looks beautiful. The clothing looks beautiful. And of course, you look beautiful (and wearing the hell out of those braids). Seems like a well documented experience. I’ve gotta go and I will. The love that surrounded you was so apparent. You are very fortunate."


"God's Dear Precious,

My heart rejoices with yours!!!!! I can, yet I can't, fully imagine the joy that you must have and are experiencing at having met your FAMILY after all of these years. My thoughts revisited the movie Antwone Fisher, starring Denzel Washington and Derek Luke, which was based on a true story in which Antwone Fisher had the same experience.

I can image that it was very hard for you to leave. But being a grandmother myself, I know it was hard for your grandmother to see you go. There is a love and a connection that is hard to explain. I can only say, cherish the moments and memories and stay close and in touch. However that might be possible. Even though my grandchildren live in Baltimore, I don't see them as often as I would like to. It would be great for me if they lived a lot clo ser, and that is my constant prayer. I do little things like send jokes and riddles through text messages on Michael's cell phone for all of them because I know that they like jokes and riddles. They stayed with me during their Spring break and went to visit Fredderick Douglas' home in South East Washington, the Nature Center on the next day and of course the play ground. I try to make as many memories as possible because time comes and goes so quickly.

My heart truly rejoices with you and I thank God for providing you with is immeasurable blessing.



WOW !!!!! girl you got tears in my eyes!!!!!!! your family pictures were beautiful and diffrent;you know I was laughing my butt off...... Precious in wraps!!!!!!!...... that's not Elie Tahari LOL .... I Miss you girl.....

God is always with you he got you this far and he is never leaving you....... AMEN!!!!!!

Bring me a sovereign but not that heavy stuff (I still have jokes)

Love you!!!!!


Awesome Precious. Simply awesome.

Love you.

Your Godfather.

Precious, I am so very happy for you that I could cry. God is just so awesome! Who would have ever thought this would happen? He loves you so much that He sent you all the way around the world to reconnect you to your people. What an awesome God we serve.

I am visualizing you up in that airplane right now and what you must have been saying to yourself as the plane landed.

Girl-friend you had better write a book and I want to be one of the first to read it. You have a powerful story to tell. There is someone out there waiting to hear how to hold on, who to hold on to and for how long.

The bible says to write the vision and make it plain!!!!!!!!

Ms. Duckett

Precious these pictures are awesome. I am so glad you got a chance to visit your family and you all look beautiful. I look forward to seeing the rest of the pictures you send. Be safe and I will definitely keep you in my prayers!

Love you!

Pee Wee

Oh my god I’m balling…

I’m so glad you had this opportunity. I hope you will go back more often. Nothing like the love of family…




The pictures are beautiful. I am so happy that you had a chance to embark on this magnificient journey. There are so few people who actually have the opportunity to trace their roots. Your family looks amazing, I saw the picture of your grandmother and the tears begin to flow because I could only imagine how she felt at that moment. You know that your mother is smiling down on you all.

Miss you.


The Moral of the story is...I am so loved and supported by so many people....WOW, just WOW


Reflections Part 1 Continued-Tough Words from a big brother when I needed it chaser

I needed to hear this at the time and I often reflect back on these words when I begin letting foolishness get to me....or simply for a good laugh cause dude is funny

"Look now,, with all that greatness you just spoke, you ended with non-sense. For one, you are too 'together' as a person to be sad over another "being". Especially when this 'being' is still considered a healthy up-right amphibian, capable of doing whatever/whenever, free to walk and roam the earth as one pleases. You get my point!! If not, hereit is:"I am a little sad today because the one person that I would love to have around today as well as every other day can't be".

It's not that this person/persons CAN'T be around today, it's that this person/persons chooses not to be (preach). So for that you have to say to yourself, maybe its not meant for that person to be around today. Maybe God has a better plan for me today. Maybe he will surround me with "kinfolk" that would love to be around me. Folk that have no obstacles or reasons why not to want to be around me. Then you have to say to yourself " I'm a good person." I'm a valued friend, a caring soul, a blessing to all that come in contact with me. When you realize that,,you will then realize that "IT AINT ME",, so why am I hurting myself by being sad, by being down, by being distant..... when I know I gave my all. At some point you will have to say "F*** THIS" I need to get back to being me: work, church, exercise, learning, and living. At some point you will have to, 'care from a distance'. Dont think for one second that that 'being' is sitting somewhere SAD,down, and not enjoying life. He/She is not because if they were........THEY'D BE WITH YOU TODAY!!! Precious you have come too far to 'self-destruct'. So get mad, but know this, your friends refuse to let it happen. So get use to someone being in your ear and on your case until you reclaim that "STRONG SOULFULSISTER" we have come to expect".



Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Reflections Part 1-More than a year gone by.......yeah I made it

"I really meant it when I said that I would never leave you.
But now I realize that I love you too much to try and keep you"


I’m sorry but I just can’t stay in this anymore. I’d rather end this now while we are still friends and respect one another than to let things continue to a point where our beautiful friendship is deteriorated. I love you too much and treasure what we’ve been to each other over the years too much to sit back and allow that to happen, when I know it’s in my power to prevent it. I know that I can’t trust my emotions. I am too deep in this to control the anger, jealousy, and other ill feelings that I lately find myself dealing with. I can’t be this woman anymore...."

These were the first words that composed the first sentences of the final letter that marked the beginning of the end. That was over a year ago and at the time, I was convinced that I would never be able to breathe without you...much less live without you. At the time, I cried even as I wrote these words. I sobbed like I was losing my best reality I was regaining myself. I sat there and read every word of this 5 page letter to you and I cried the whole way through it. You told me that I was going to "ruin my pretty dress" with the mixture of my tears and mascara...I didn't care. I was doing the "rigth" thing but it felt like hell and I never, ever thought I would make it past that moment. BUT I DID!!!!!!!!!!

Even as I write this "reflection" it's not to reflect on what I lost, but to rejoice in what I've! I've regained my joy, my self esteem, my pride, my confidence, my swagger, my trust in others (okay still working on this one), my love of laughter, life and love...Yes, I can now imagine myself receiving the love that I deserve, that I longed for and that is rightfully mine...I am giving this love to myself. So much has changed inside of me since the day that I read that farewell letter to you....Yeah we went back and forth for a while but in the end, it was the end and it was the best gift that I have ever given to myself.

Oh no I don't hate you, as a mattter of fact I will always love you, heck we are even "cool". I think back to the momeent that I realized I was over you...or rather had no desire to have you in my life in "that" way; I was shocked, amused, and delighted. I was finally free!!!

I can't ever forget the important lessons that I learned through "us". These lessons are a part of me. They are my wounds from the battle, they are a part of what makes me beautifully flawed and human...they are the mark of a woman who has been through some ish and knows what it is to love and be loved, they have helped to define me, realize my worth, forced me to take an inventory of my values, and opened my eyes many things....All I can do is rejoice and thank God for the change that has come upon me...

I remember that I ended the letter with this:

" has always been my purpose to show you true, agape (godly) love and I think that this (me walking away in peace) is me demonstrating love to the fullest.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.
Love never fails – Corinthians 1:13"

Truer words have never been written...this is love, the way that God gives it and the only kind that I will ever accept or give.......


LOL @ Myself

So I was checking out the blog of an old friend from high school and when I went to make a comment on her blog, I realized that I too had a blog and I had actually posted on it funny. What's even funnier is what was on my mind at the time of these posts. Anyway, I guess I was in a writing mood at the time and I'm glad I wrote my thoughts down...It's interesting to go back and read something you wrote in the past...

So I guess it's safe to say that I might actually come up here and post something every now and then, just for my own personal enjoyment and amusement when I come back months later to read what I was thinking about at that particular time...Does that even make any sense?

It's late and I worked out for almost three hours this evening..