Saturday, December 10, 2011

Prayer for my Husband

ABBA, you created me, and I believe you created marriage for my good and your glory. I don’t know your timeline, but I’m asking you to fulfill my desire to be married. I Thank You, Lord, because you placed this strong desire in my heart “and called it good”. Father, please forgive me for the times I spoke against this desire to be married and even asked you to take it away. Now that I understand your purpose, I am thankful that you would never honor such a request. Thank You that you’ve already been where I’m headed, you know what my future holds, and you’ve ordered my steps. Thank you for the blessing of marriage and for my future husband. I pray that your favor be upon him all the days of his life. Please be with him and prepare his heart to do your will, even as you are preparing me to be a wife that will be pleasing in your sight. Thank you for the grace to remain pure and to resist the temptations of this world while I wait. Please keep me from the distraction of ungodly men that are not suitable to be my husband. Thank you, Lord that all good and perfect gifts come from you and that there is no sorrow added to Your blessings. Thank you, Father that your desires are my desires. Thank you, Holy Spirit for continuing to teach me and for opening the eyes of my heart and understanding. In the name of your Son, Jesus Christ., AMEN.

The List

I've never made that infamous list of everything I want in a mate. I used to think it was silly and pretty shallow and now I understand why. Although sitting down and making a laundry list of what I THINK I deserve in a mate would be edifying to my flesh, it's not God's heart. Our culture teaches us to approach marriage like that of a consumer; I am signing this contract so I better have all my clauses in it and the product I'm getting better fulfill my every desire, or else…we divorce. Lol!

God is teaching me that is a fallacy. God's purpose for marriage is to teach us to love and forgive like his Son Jesus Christ. Jesus purchased us, signed up for us, entered into covenant (blood contract) with us by dying on the cross with NO GUARANTEE that we'd ever get right or accept his sacrifice. I believe that God designed marriage to be the final proving ground for maturity, and learning to love sacrificially with grace and forgiveness towards our mate. Marriage, when you look at it through God’s eyes is a perfect model of our relationship with Christ. Whew! I’m learning so much!

Not to mention I'm more focused on "becoming the person that the person I'm looking for is looking for" as Andy Stanley so eloquently put it.
But in lieu of the infamous list, I believe there are certain non-negotiable things that a man must have. I believe all these can be gleaned from just being a friend to a man and watching his walk and the fruit of his life. So instead of the list, here are my 5 non-negotiable things….

1. Must be a believer in the Holy Trinity and a follow of Jesus Christ.
2. Must be willing and able to provide for a family
3. Must love sacrificially
4. Must be honest and communicate openly and consistently
5. Must have a good reputation and strive for the qualities of a spiritual leader (head)

Wednesday, December 7, 2011


It's widely known (by those who know me) that my natural father made some very selfish decisions that caused my mother’s death (10 days after I was born) and left me basically an orphan and ward of the state until I was 18. The part that's still coming to the surface is how much his actions affected the rest of my family (mother's side).

My aunt can't even talk about the situation and losing her sister without coming to tears, some 30+ years later. It hurts my heart to see her sad but I'm mostly over it.

Specifically, I've forgiven him. I know that it wasn’t him. The devil saw the future that God has for me and he wanted to abort God's plan. That's the devil’s job (he comes to steal kill and destroy) and he uses spirits through people to accomplish his work. Ironically that's also God's M.O. for showing His goodness (The Holy Spirit at work in willing humans).

The other day I told my aunt that though I'm not necessarily interested in having a relationship with my natural father, I feel sorry for him because he's missing out on a lovely daughter. I also said if I ever saw him in need, I'd help him; to which she replied "How can you do that? I wouldn’t." I don't know. I just know that I would.

I know that everything we learn here on earth about love and forgiveness is God trying to make us just like Jesus so that He can enjoy a heaven full of perfectly loving "Jesus(s)" when we get to heaven. In the end, God loves Jesus so much that He wants all of us to be just like Him! Jesus loves and forgives perfectly and I want to be just like Him. Jesus is dope! Forgiveness is hard (my natural father did unspeakable things) but God is good and the devil can't hold me because I belong to God....for that I'm thankful and I don't want to displease God by harboring un-forgiveness towards ANYONE...I will pray for my aunt and the rest of my family to get there. They’re still talking about tracking him down to beat him. Lord have mercy!

No one is worthy of my one

I Am Getting Married

I'm getting married soon. I know it. Everything I'm doing right now is preparing me to be a great wife. God has me on the path, the way He's changed me, the things He's revealing to me, the resources, He's sent me and everything He's allowing me to see now. I AM GETTING MARRIED!

A while ago, I would never declare that or even be so open about how marriage minded I am. This culture has many women thinking we need to downplay our desire for marriage, not bring it up lest we scare men off. Real men aren’t afraid of marriage talk. My man won't be. It's that simple. There is a time for love (Ecc 3:8) and every good, godly man knows that. I don’t desire any other type of man. Closed mouths don't get fed, so a woman being mum about her real desires is doing herself a great disservice. Ironic that it's okay to give our minds, bodies and souls to a man but we shouldn’t seek commitment??!! Man, the closer I get to God, the more I see how whack this world system and our culture really is.

Anyway, I'm getting married and my husband is going to be dope and love me to pieces and I can't wait to love, serve and honor him.