Monday, January 9, 2012


I sat up and read some past posts from my blog today. How shallow and one dimensional was I? Not to mention I cursed in writing? Oooohhhh…LOL!

The origin of this blog was for me to have a place to vent my frustrations about an unrequited love. That went on for entirely too long. Save for a few posts here and there about work, school, clothes, etc, it was all about him! I think it's hilarious (and somewhat pathetic) now but that's just where I was and GLORY to GOD I'm not anymore! There's a part of me that wanted to delete some old posts. I really don't know if I'd want people I know (that I didn’t know then) to read it. But I decided that it's a good way for them to even get to know more of me. I'm at a place in my life that I want to be transparent because I believe it will help someone. After all, my life is not my own! My testimony is for God’s use.

I look forward to using this blog as a point of reflection though, so that I can continue to see what God has done and is doing in my life.

With that said, I’m so thankful for growth! Wow! Amen...

I Am Through with Dating!!!

I read this today and it TOTALLY confirmed everything the Lord has been speaking to me through His Word, prayers and other godly resources, regarding dating, or lack thereof.

Tell Dating to Go to Hell

I am no longer a part of this dating/hook up culture. I'm done! My journey is to allow God to reveal my own heart to me and mold me into a woman and wife that would be pleasing to him and a blessing to my husband. That's it. I don't have to go on countless dates to discover a mate. I don’t need to go online, doll up & insert myself in any clubs, go speed dating, ask to be hooked up, etc. God’s got me! I’ve seen Him do it before and I know He shows no favoritism! (Acts 10:34)

I believe that God's paradigm for relationships is this:

1. Service-be associated with people of both genders in all purity (1 Timothy 5), pray for them, dwell with them according to the fruits of the Spirit. This is the time to discover marriage traits in a person of the opposite sex, from afar and without emotional involvement. I read somewhere that you can glean 75 percent of what you need to know about a person (the things that really matter to God for marriage) just by being associated with them. Upon further reflection, I find this to be true.

2. Friendship- with spoken and understood intent of marriage. This is the appropriate point to share a wee bit more emotional intimacy, and get to know the person on a slightly deeper level. This is NOT the time to discover everything about the person to see if they are what we want to marry. During this time you’ll get the other 10-15 percent of what you need to know about a person prior to marriage.

3. Covenant-After we marry then and only then should we discover each other sexually and give of our selves over fully in emotional and physical intimacy.

As we graduate from one level to the next we never leave the principles of the last level behind. We only add to them. We are always to be in service and it's best to be in covenant with someone that you've grown to know and love as a friend. I think the world culture tries to get it right by saying things like "be friends first, date your best friend," etc. But I believe where we fall short is the order of things. Most "friends" that are dating in the world, are also having sex outside of the covenant of marriage and the people in the relationship think it's about them and getting their needs met and we forget about truly serving the other person. The difference with God's plan is that it's done in decency and in order and in the right timing.

GOD KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING! If nothing else He's way smarter than me and what I've done in the past has not worked!!! I've decided to trust HIM instead...

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Spiritual Goals

1. Continue to tithe faithfully, give offerings above my tithe and begin to move into the area of extravagant giving (first fruit offerings, faith gifts, sewing into ministries, helping people that are in need, blessing others with my overflow. I will move into this area once I pay off some debts I owe)

2. I've accepted a role in a new girls mentoring ministry. I will commit to one year, 1 Saturday per month and other activities as required

3. Begin with an hour of worship, prayer, and devotion each morning before I do anything else. I want to give God the first part of each day

4. Move into giving God a 10th of each day (2.4 hours) with prayer, Bible reading, blogging, journal writing, meditation and reflection

5. Continue to speak to every person I see and practice kindness as much as possible

6. Look for more opportunities to minister the Gospel and boldly claim them when they arise
a. One thing that is on my heart is to stop promising to pray for people and instead pray for a person immediately (with them if possible) as soon as an issue arises

New Life Resolution

I really have to organize myself and better manage my time so that I can spend more time with the Lord each day. I can no longer afford to let sleep, work, church, ministry, running, working out, friends, family, what other folks want me to do, what I want to do, etc to take away from my time with the Lord. I need Him more than the air I breathe. Everything else that I need, want, desire, will flow from me going deeper in Christ.

Last night I prayed through tear stained eyes about the things I still struggle with (self esteem issues, not feeling worthy, allowing people to mistreat me) and He said it's because of my average worship lifestyle, my vision of myself continues to be average! I was stunned! Who me? Average? But I believe the Holy Sprit is the best mirror and I've given the Lord carte blanche to reveal, to redeem to restore what He must in me...So here I go. I'm going deeper.

I read the Word, I do devotion and I pray a lot but I'm inconsistent. I need to do it in a more structured way so that it can become a habit and my lifestyle. I really would love to get to a place where I can tithe a part of each day (2.4 hours) to the Lord. That's lofty but I'd like to see myself there within the next 3 months. I've started with an hour each morning. This is going to take discipline. Pray for me.