He Stood Me Up

Sigh...I really was going to let this one go, just float away in the air, become a distant memory. But then he called me today and added insult to injury so I have to put it on blast.

This past weekend I was oh so content simply staying in my apartment, reading, doing my school work, minding my business. He calls around 1:00 in the afternoon to ask if I'd like go out later. I was a bit reluctant at first but said what the hay...let me get out of these sweats and live a little. The agreement was that he'd pick me up around 7 and we'd go have dinner at a place of my choosing. I doll up. He never calls, answers my calls OR SHOWS. I call it a wash at 8:00 but still head out, dolo to my favorite spot for a bite. Why waste a cute outfit and a well beaten face right?

Fast forward to today. He's now become a part of black history, especially since he refused to answer my subsequent Sunday calls. Clearly I was seeking some sort of explanation and also a tad concerned. By Monday I'm over it, like contact details deleted from my phone book over it. Too harsh? LOL! Anyway, he calls, I miss it as I'm out for a late evening jog. I return to his plea copping on my voicemail (with no clear explanation, just an "I"m sorry, hit me back") and I decide to put the poor lad out of his misery...The conversation did not go as expected.

Him: "Hey lady, my bad for the other night...(after a slight hesitation) something came up".
Me: "Oh okay (in my head I'm negotiating whether to probe further. I decide to go for the gusto) so...do elaborate, what came up"?
Him: "Huh"?
Me: "What came up that caused you to stand me up"?
Him: "I don't care to get into all that" I was just tied up"
Me: Thinking (WTF?? oh I know what "tied up" means)
Me: "So you stood me up, and never called me until 4 days later and to you "something came up" is a good enough explanation"? "I really don't agree".
Him: "Well it's not like you're my girl..so I don't owe you an explanation".
Me: DONE!! I close the conversation by saying that it's unfortunate that he feels that way and I had to go because something came up.

He's a lucky man. He caught me on a good week and on the heels of a run. I'm in a good mood so I went easy on him but oh he should NEVER call my phone again and I think he's smart enough to know that. I would love to know if I was wrong or somehow out of bounds? I know I'm not the most seasoned dater but c'mon! Since when do I have to be someones girlfriend to be afforded some common courtesy? I didn't gather from his tone that someone died or there was some horrible accident that occurred to him or a loved one. So I really have no choice but to assume that he got a call from a sure shot and chose to go beat that instead of conversing with me over dinner AND have to pay! LOL. I love men, they make me laugh.

This exchange made me realize that I've been spoiled recently. So when I was younger (like 18) my ex pulled that "no call, no show" mess at the start of our relationship. Years later I asked why he would do that, why not call and say "gotta cancel". His response was that he knew he'd get his tail handed to him and he didn't want to hear it. But hopefully by the time we'd speak again I'd be over it. Dumb strategy then, even dumber now. Back then I actually thought that was just something boys did cause my first love at 16 also did that.

I recently went out to the theatre with a friend. We went over our plans on Thursday for the date on Sunday. I never spoke to him again between Thursday and Sunday. On Sunday afternoon, he showed up at my home as discussed, and even waited on me to finish getting ready. It NEVER dawned on my that I needed to reconfirm our plans. I mean we're adults and he's never gone against his word to me. I'm so not planning to go backwards. It's just not my thing to be blowing up someones phone, making sure we're still on. Who the heck has time for that? The odd thing is that this was not a first "date"--we had cool convo over a tea recently and I thought he had his mind right. Oh well, "I guess he's just not that into me". Whatever! LOL<:)!