The List

I've never made that infamous list of everything I want in a mate. I used to think it was silly and pretty shallow and now I understand why. Although sitting down and making a laundry list of what I THINK I deserve in a mate would be edifying to my flesh, it's not God's heart. Our culture teaches us to approach marriage like that of a consumer; I am signing this contract so I better have all my clauses in it and the product I'm getting better fulfill my every desire, or else…we divorce. Lol!

God is teaching me that is a fallacy. God's purpose for marriage is to teach us to love and forgive like his Son Jesus Christ. Jesus purchased us, signed up for us, entered into covenant (blood contract) with us by dying on the cross with NO GUARANTEE that we'd ever get right or accept his sacrifice. I believe that God designed marriage to be the final proving ground for maturity, and learning to love sacrificially with grace and forgiveness towards our mate. Marriage, when you look at it through God’s eyes is a perfect model of our relationship with Christ. Whew! I’m learning so much!

Not to mention I'm more focused on "becoming the person that the person I'm looking for is looking for" as Andy Stanley so eloquently put it.
But in lieu of the infamous list, I believe there are certain non-negotiable things that a man must have. I believe all these can be gleaned from just being a friend to a man and watching his walk and the fruit of his life. So instead of the list, here are my 5 non-negotiable things….

1. Must be a believer in the Holy Trinity and a follow of Jesus Christ.
2. Must be willing and able to provide for a family
3. Must love sacrificially
4. Must be honest and communicate openly and consistently
5. Must have a good reputation and strive for the qualities of a spiritual leader (head)