Cure for The Blues...

"He likes all of you, he gets you, that's why it's so hard for you to get over him. You're afraid you might not find that again".

This is what my girlfriend said to me on Friday regarding how he feels about me, based on what I've shared. She was so on point especially considering the fact that the last man could never just let me be me! There was always some comment about my hair (why I didn't straighten it more often), my eclectic sense of style, my body (always pointing out my flaws) etc. It was exhausting, yet I allowed it. Silly me. But what a relief it was to meet and involve myself with someone that accepts me, and loves me..just for me. Anyway...

I accepted an invitation to see Anita Baker in concert at Wolf Trap on Friday evening. It was a gorgeous night at a beautiful venue, and the show was phenomenal! Anita Baker is so bad, even her sound check is flawless. I really enjoyed myself; great show, good company..I'm glad I accepted. But the entire night, I suppressed the urge to burst into tears. I charged it to the fact that Anita's music is primarily about love so I was not too hard on myself! I also did not want to have to explain an emotional reaction to "I Just Want to be Your Girl"...so I fought back the tears. Through the follow up dinner at Cheesecake Factory, I held them in...Until finally, I got home, washed the day off, crawled into my bed and just cried. I cried, while I remembered every moment; from our first meeting on that balmy summer morning, to the last awkward moment we shared on Friday afternoon, I thought about the potential that I/we know exists and how sad I am that it seems to be lost..for good. For the frustration and stupidness I feel for allowing myself to fall in love with him, for not heeding the warnings of well meaning friends, for using my heart and not my head, for always imagining him at home with me, for the foot rubs and kisses that I miss, for the fact that this was the first and last time I would indulge myself in sorrow over this situation, and yes, even for that ticket I got on my way home that night..I cried, and cried, and cried, and cried...until I cried myself to sleep.

When I woke up on Saturday morning, I felt foggy, soggy, and I lacked the desire to get out of bed. I quickly realized that I had the BLUES! So pulled out my arsenal of vices for getting back to me. I went running until the speedometer read 5 miles, I came back home, filled my environment with great music, took a pampering bath, danced while I picked out my fro, put on a chic outfit and some fierce makeup then I went shopping...for groceries! I came back home and whipped up some fresh guacamole and shrimp quesadillas (while in heels), ate and spent some quality time with me. I felt like my diva self again. LOL!

Later that evening, I had another date. It was nice.