Celebrations and Realizations

I had the great fortune of celebrating another year of life on Thursday June 5th. My birthdays are generally unscripted as I rarely make concrete plans like a party or other focused celebration. I have always pretty much just desired to be with people that I love and this year was no different. I missed my family and this was heightened by the fact that many of them were trying to call me (from various locations abroad) while I was in meetings and I knew that it meant a lot to them to speak with me on that day. Some (well meaning members) simply wanted to remind me that I am another year closer to 30 with nary husband in sight (I really don't have the heart to tell them...), but I digress. I am so loved!

For this birthday however, I just happened to end up at an amusement park with a bunch of my friends! I was in Pennsylvania at a work retreat and this was one of our "team building" activities. What a blast! This is like every child's dream and I lived it. I rode roller coasters, water rides, hung out with my colleagues and my boss, laughed, enjoyed a beautiful sunny day and topped the day off with funnel cake and vanilla ice cream, yummy! If I wasn’t me, I'd be jealous.

Overall, my weekend was pretty low key and a relaxing. I ended up in Baltimore on Saturday afternoon for some QT with my family there. We barbecued and enjoyed one another and I found some new things that I love about Baltimore and more and more...yeah I can see myself there. LOL! My cousin is the fanciest griller I have ever known. At one point I looked at the sea bass, veggie kabobs, fruit kabobs, chicken, turkey burgers, shrimp, and pineapple crusted pork on the grill and thought to myself "this is so extra but so B"!

On Saturday night I shared some time with an intelligent, deep, beautiful, dynamic, inspirational (can I stop sweating her already?) new sister in my life and it was simply one of the best girl talk sessions I've ever had. She allowed me to go places that I am usually skeptical about going with girlfriends that I've known for years and I am so thankful to her. Reflecting on that conversation, I hold several truths:

1. I AM NOT CRAZY!
2. Everything that I've been feeling is real and valid, because I say so!
3. Love can never be defined or dictated by time, circumstance, or reasonability, it's just love.
4. I don't want to be in a relationship, I want to be with him and him alone but only if we are able to dwell in the same space of unabashed honesty, openness, selflessness, fun, spontaneity, intimacy, lust and depth that we've always shared. Anything less would never work for me.
5. There are certain things that I WILL NEVER compromise on simply to be in a relationship.
6. As long as I have to say "I love you" with a preface or lots of explanation, I am not ready to say it.
7. Pictures are truly worth a thousand words.

I went to brunch/shopping (btw, Front Page in Dupont Cirle waffles, omelettes, and mimosas are divine!) on Sunday with my girlfriend who recently left a high paying position to build her own business. I love her, I am so proud of her and I look forward to celebrating her success.

I have a great family, wonderful friends, a fabulous life and words could never thoroughly explicate how grateful I am.