With Friends Like These...

I am hurt.

Friday night Bunz called to invite me to one of the many birthday celebrations for Washington Redskin's wide receiver Santana Moss (yeah I know a little about the home team); an all white affair which sounded nice but I had to decline because I had literally stepped in the door from going to see S&TC. She was like "well go on to bed grandma, but you're not missing tomorrow's party." Cool.

Saturday morning I had my last tutoring session with Nina Simone. It was uneventful and she loved the necklace I bought her from the Bahamas as well her copy of "Cornrows" by Camille Yarbrough. I was really happy that I got her this book, especially when her mother came in and we started talking about my recommendation for her to read the American Dreams book collection. She mentioned that a family member had bought Nina one of the dolls and it was ugly because it was "black as tar" with "super nappy hair". Wow! She actually said "black as tar" in front of me, but I digress. I can only pray that mom gets a peek at the book too.

Saturday night we got to the party that was being held in a two-floor lounge inside the Gaylord Resort Hotel at the new National Harbor, very nice! The guest list was expansive. Santana Moss had bus loads of his people coming in to party with him and they were being given first access into the club, fair enough. Our "pass" arrived on the last bus so we were waiting in line in the meantime. I understand that people (women!) waited upwards of two hours to get into this party...NEVER!

As we stood in the ridiculous line, up walks the mother of my 18-month old god-son. She's with another girl that Bunz and I are also cool with. At first it appears as though my god son's mother was getting ready to walk right past me and not speak! I just knew I was imagining this and thought that perhaps she had not seen me, so I called out to her. They came over and mostly hugged Bunz who they rarely see. Her sidekick casually mentioned that it looked like it was going to be "tough to get into this party without a hook up". God son's mother agreed in one breath and was like "aight yall, we gotta go" in the next and left me and Bunz standing in line!

Now....one might say "what's the big deal with that?". Well, just like men have their "unspoken rules" so do women and one of those rules is that when it comes to sharing a hook up or connection into a hard to get into party, exclusive club, etc.."it aint no fun if your home girls can't have none". I have literally had chicks that I had not seen since the 6th grade grab me and pull me out of a line into a party and we went our separate ways after that. Bunz, as much as people love to hate her is famous for pulling random girls into clubs with her, for free and getting access to VIP, free drinks, etc. That's just how we roll! So for the mother of the child who I have babysat almost every weekend since Thanksgiving 2007 and have actually declined invitations to posh events, dates, etc to stay home with him to put me in her purse and carry me like that? WTF??!!

Now I never once doubted that we would get into the party last night. Not once. As a matter of fact we went in shortly after and had a decent time, free drinks, VIP access, table, some scrumptious birthday cake, the whole nine. Even if we were not able to get in, this is NOT the issue! God son's mother simply did not think about me! Had she said "dang P, this aint my connect, I wish I could get yall in", etc...it would have been all love. But nothing, it's like it did not even dawn on her that this was the decent thing to do. For the record, if she wanted to pull me in and not Bunz, it would have been a no go because I don't roll like that. It has to be all or nothing and frankly there were only two of us. I sent a text to her phone that read: "Did you really go in the party and leave me standing in line"? "Wow"! No response.

To add insult to injury, once inside of the club, not once but twice did I walk up to her and she turned her face like she was trying to avoid me. The second time I walked up and said to her "are you alright"? She was like "yeah"!

Now due to the high level of emotion and adrenaline, I questioned my reaction. Bunz was like "P, you are the last person in the world that deserves that". But since she and god son's mom aren't the best of friends I decided to solicit other opinions and overwhelmingly, I've been told that I should "let her go", "P you are too nice to people", "you aint got no kids, stop letting her use you" ,"yeah she cold carried you, slim" amongst other things.

Those who know me know that I am super kind, almost "to a fault" some might say. That's just my nature and I don't really believe in being taken advantage of, because I believe that karma or the law of reaping and sowing takes care of all that...but maybe I am too nice? Is that possible? Did I over react to this? What about my god son? I really just don't know what to think, but all the details aside, how she acted towards me did hurt and I will have to address it somehow with her...if she ever contacts me. I am also a firm believer in forgiveness and I would rather not let something like this ruin an entire friendship because to me that would be petty.

What should I do? Is there such a thing as being too kind or too forgiving in our relationships with loved ones?