Thursday, June 12, 2008

Familiar Feelings

I'm out of sorts...I can't place my finger on it, but I've been here before.

It was so hard to focus at work today.. It's a great thing that this was one of those a million meetings days..forced to keep my mind occupied.

I noticed that I was also very tired today, like drained. What is this all about? I mean, I when to bed at a decent time last night and slept late this morning. Oh but maybe this is my mental and emotional fatigue and weariness manifesting itself in my body. I can't have that! So I go to the gym, determined to keep shit moving (after all, I'm me, that's what I do). A half an hour later, after I was just supposed to be going to the car to retrieve my gym clothes..I find myself sitting there just thinking and fell asleep right in the damn car in the public parking lot! WTF??!!

So I force myself to body pump and the instructor's perkiness is EXTRA annoying today. As I clumsily and haphazardly go through the motions of squats, lunges, and chest presses, I keep trying to change my mental state by saying to myself "you gotta keep it gangsta, you gotta keep doing you". "That's how you make it, that's how you've always made it through rough patches". Never let em see you sweat is the mantra! But I'm not even convincing my damn self, HA! Who the hell am I fooling? I know what this is...

1 comment:

T.a.c.D said...

yea i think i am there too...i know what it is, but then i don't know what it is...every time i feel like i am moving forward i feel like i am getting slapped right back, back into the spot i was in before...i think its our age, growing, maturing all of that wanting more type of stuff that goes on in your 20s esp late 20s...someone told me once that your 20s are definitely years you look BACK on, to which i responded well thanks for tell me NOW...

you WILL make it through i am certain of it....as you said, it is what it is...and you just gotta keep pushing