1. Love does not make sense, but it makes a good song as my girl Alicia Keys once noted. But even in love, it's important to still use my brain because the heart is foolish and even the Bible cautions us to guard it.
2. There is nothing wrong with loving someone hard, but I have to save somethings for myself and demand reciprocity or I will end up feeling unappreciated, resentful and jaded.
3. I will not beat myself up for being who I am and I will not attempt to change me, I will just be more cautious of whom I give of myself to. This applies to ANY relationship.
4. I am smart and even though it despairs me that I come from a family of engineers yet I struggle with math, it does not take away from my intelligence because I have a NEVER QUIT attitude that can't be taught.
5. I am an influential person (I even have the psychological profile to back it up) so I have to be careful of how I project myself to others.
6. I am beautiful even when I don't feel or act beautiful.
7. I have a lot of intelligent, upwardly mobile, beautiful, driven, loving, thoughtful, trustworthy, real women in my life and I need to make it my priority to nurture these relationships. My sister circle must be cherished and never taken for granted.
8. Sometimes, no matter how much I want something, once I strip away all the BS and fluff and see that it's not for me, I HAVE to walk away.
9. My relationship with God and my family are paramount and trump anything else in my life, period.
10. I have to take care of me first. I am a giver and that's a great thing but I can no longer put other people's needs, wants, and feelings before mine.
11. I make good decisions and even when I feel that I don't (especially with men) I realize that I do. Even the people that it didn't work out with are good people and it was my decision to involve myself with them.
12. I need to get some platonic male friends. No matter how "cool" I am with my ex or other past lovers, I can't depend on them for unbiased relationship advice about other men. There will always be an undercurrent of "who the F is this n@**# with them! LOL!
13. I am a grown woman now and as such, when I need to get something done, I will make sure my funds are in place and hire a professional. I have been on the wrong side of the "homeboy hookup" enough times to know that it's not economical or cute.
14. I am independent and it does not take away from my independence that I sometimes want to fall back and let a man take care of me.
15. Confronting a loved one with a gripe will not make them stop loving me and if they do walk out of my life because I had to "go off" on them, they never really loved me in the first place. Sometimes I just have to let people know about themselves, with all due respect.
16. Things are generally not as hard, serious, monumental, offensive, heartbreaking, or earth shattering as I may perceive them to be. I need to let my imagination run wild in areas of creativity, (i.e. writing, inventing, birthing new business ideas, etc) but not in my interpersonal relationships.
17. God is good all the time!
2. There is nothing wrong with loving someone hard, but I have to save somethings for myself and demand reciprocity or I will end up feeling unappreciated, resentful and jaded.
3. I will not beat myself up for being who I am and I will not attempt to change me, I will just be more cautious of whom I give of myself to. This applies to ANY relationship.
4. I am smart and even though it despairs me that I come from a family of engineers yet I struggle with math, it does not take away from my intelligence because I have a NEVER QUIT attitude that can't be taught.
5. I am an influential person (I even have the psychological profile to back it up) so I have to be careful of how I project myself to others.
6. I am beautiful even when I don't feel or act beautiful.
7. I have a lot of intelligent, upwardly mobile, beautiful, driven, loving, thoughtful, trustworthy, real women in my life and I need to make it my priority to nurture these relationships. My sister circle must be cherished and never taken for granted.
8. Sometimes, no matter how much I want something, once I strip away all the BS and fluff and see that it's not for me, I HAVE to walk away.
9. My relationship with God and my family are paramount and trump anything else in my life, period.
10. I have to take care of me first. I am a giver and that's a great thing but I can no longer put other people's needs, wants, and feelings before mine.
11. I make good decisions and even when I feel that I don't (especially with men) I realize that I do. Even the people that it didn't work out with are good people and it was my decision to involve myself with them.
12. I need to get some platonic male friends. No matter how "cool" I am with my ex or other past lovers, I can't depend on them for unbiased relationship advice about other men. There will always be an undercurrent of "who the F is this n@**# with them! LOL!
13. I am a grown woman now and as such, when I need to get something done, I will make sure my funds are in place and hire a professional. I have been on the wrong side of the "homeboy hookup" enough times to know that it's not economical or cute.
14. I am independent and it does not take away from my independence that I sometimes want to fall back and let a man take care of me.
15. Confronting a loved one with a gripe will not make them stop loving me and if they do walk out of my life because I had to "go off" on them, they never really loved me in the first place. Sometimes I just have to let people know about themselves, with all due respect.
16. Things are generally not as hard, serious, monumental, offensive, heartbreaking, or earth shattering as I may perceive them to be. I need to let my imagination run wild in areas of creativity, (i.e. writing, inventing, birthing new business ideas, etc) but not in my interpersonal relationships.
17. God is good all the time!
4 comments:
Sometimes women disregard the facts and try to hold on to the potential hope of a relationship. Situations need to be seen for what they are instead of what we want them to be. The truth is you deserve better but keep allowing the "if" factor to dictate your decisions. Women want to guard their hearts but you can't keep allowing a person to have this much control over your emotions. You are going to make it!
i totally agree with anonymous and totally applaud you for sharing your lessons learned!
you are going to make it! we are going to make it...
PERIOD! We have no choice but to make it!
Great point made by anonymous! That "if" factor will get us everytime.
2. So true.
3. Don't tell anyone I told you, but engineers just act like we know a lot of math. We really stopped listening after the second calculus class. :)
6. You absolutely are.
8 & 10. Amen!
12. Just make sure they are unattractive...lol. ;)
14. You're right. Just like that Kleenex commerical where the lady says...my tears don't compromise my strength. Neither does an independent/strong woman's desire for a man to be in her world compromise who or what she is.
17. All the time!!
Loving these wonderful lessons learned...
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